In an attempt to break the myth of a 'perfect parent' House of Zizi has interviewed several moms. Read their stories and we're sure you would be able to resonate with all of them at some level.
Our first interview was with Preethi Lydia Alex. A mom who lives with her husband and their two sons in Luxembourg. Far-far away from their family and friends they have had to go through parenting hardships all by themselves. As a working mother with no help and support, this is the story of her parenting mindset.
1. Do you have a parenting style?
Yes, mostly authoritative parenting. We make sure that our children's feelings are taken into consideration and we ensure that we have a positive relationship with our kids.
2. What are ways in which you bond with your child?
We read, play Lego together, talk about how our day went before going to bed and we make sure that there are lots of hugs and kisses involved.
3. Our children are more than milestones and percentiles. But do you still worry about them?
Yes, since there are a lot of expectations from their peers and the community that they grow in. We as parents ensure that our children have the access to learning material and provide them with plenty of opportunities, so it's only a matter of time before they catch up.
4. Do you feel that comparison in inevitable? How do you deal with it?
I believe that healthy comparison is not a bad thing it helps me not to be ignorant.
5. Do you think that social media adds pressure to parenting these days?
Yes and no.
Yes, because I have seen my friends getting worried that their children have not reached a milestone when another younger child has -- this has caused them unnecessary anxiety and worry.
No, because I think some content has useful information about new parenting methods which our parents might not have come across (eg.BLW). I would not have known about it, if it was not for social media.
6. Do you receive unsolicited parenting advice? If yes, how do you handle it?
Sometimes, I mostly ignore it.
7. How do you react to negative remarks and judgements passed on your child? Has it ever happened?
Yes, mostly with family. They say things to children unthinkingly and the little ones tend to take these comments personally.
I have understood with time that it is easier to make a child understand than the members of the family.
8. Is mom guilt and mom shaming real? Have you experienced it?
I'm my case, I left my child in a creche as little as when he was 9 months old. I put up a brave act, but deep down I was dying of guilt. I constantly worried about leaving my little baby with a stranger. I unfortunately did not have a plan B so I had to work my head around it. I guess situations truly make you a braver mom!
9. Tell us about yourself and your little one.
I am Preethi Alex, mom of two lovely boys Nathaniel and Ethan. A full time working mom trying to fit into a 6 year old's and a 2 year old's shoes at the same time.
After all their initial struggles, Preethi is content with the rhythm of their life where peace and everyday chaos co-exist beautifully.